


The Growing Abyss

by CarnelianRogue



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Other, Panic Attacks, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, Romance, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, sansxreader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnelianRogue/pseuds/CarnelianRogue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're confused, Lonely, and your head hurts like a mofo.<br/>Not to mention you sneeze all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

Entry Number 17

[Dark]

[Darker]

[Yet Darker]

[The darkness keeps growing]

[The shadows cutting deeper]

[Photon readings negative]

[This next experiment]

[Seems]

[Very]

[Interesting]

[What do you two think?]

____________________________________________________

Waking up was hard. What was harder was coming to grips with reality. It was empty, yet you could feel the ridges of the ground beneath you. You rub your eyes a bit, and white dots your vision.

[y o u  f e e l  y o u r  s I n s  c r a w l I n g  o n  y o u r  b a c k]

Your memories are cloudy.

Your name is (Name)

You were underground

You wanted to die.

You could've had friends. You could've been kind.

You are a demon. You don't deserve anybody's kindness.

No sense of Justice

No need for Kindness

Lost all Perseverance

Patience is missing

Along with Bravery

No Integrity...

N o  D E T E R M I N A T I O N.

So this is what it's like to be an empty shell?

You don't like it very much.

You fall into the void, wordlessly.


	2. Waking up in a new realm

You've been falling in the void for a while now, and you can't tell when it is. Time just kinda melds together. It starts to get lighter, and you can see little splotches of color here and there. The black smoothly fades into brown, and you can tell you've started to fall into a cavern of sorts. Vines and dirt litter the walls that you can now tell are solid rock.

You've hit the ground.

Smells like flowers.

___________________________________

".... wake up! I cannot have another child die on me!"

Your eyes flutter open, and you have a splitting headache.

Is that a goat? 

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you had gotten fatally injured when you fell..."

You sit up and notice that you're in a bed. It's obviously a child's bed, but it can still comfortably fit your body. The goat woman is smiling in relief, and holding bandages.

"How hurt am I?" 

"It took me a few hours to heal the crack in your skull, and your left ankle, along with your left wrist, are severely sprained. I am surprised that fall did not kill you, my child." She gets a sad look on her face.

"(Name)" You say

"Um, excuse me, my child? I do not understand what you are trying to say.."

"My name, it's (Name)"

"Oh! How silly of me, of course it was your name! I am Toriel, and I take care of the ruins."

"Have any other humans fallen down here?"

"No, you are the first to have... survived the fall in a while..." She looks sad again. You lightly touch her shoulder. It must be hard on her to see humans, dead from the fall down here.

"And, uh... Where exactly IS Here?"

"You are in the underground, my child. The underground is where the monsters were sealed a long time ago... But I will tell you more later. You need to rest, child. I will have a Butterscotch-Cinnamon pie ready for you when you wake up."

"Thank you for taking care of me, By the way."

"You are very welcome, My child. Sweet dreams."

You fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow.


	3. I'm not a kid, Mom!

You knew pie smelled good, but Toriel's Butterscotch-Cinnamon pie smelled heavenly. Sitting up, you looked toward the center of the room, and saw a generous helping of pie. You took a bite, reveling in the taste for a moment before devouring the rest. You take your plate out to the dining room, to see Toriel sitting in a reading chair. There's something in her lap.

"Excuse me, Toriel. Where should I put my plate?"

"Here, My child. I will take care of that for you. But first, I would like for you to meet Frisk! They fell down not too long ago, while you were sleeping, nonetheless!" She shakes who you assume to be Frisk awake.

"Mooooooooooommmm, stooop!" They groan, rolling onto their stomach. They look at you, and you are filled with a sudden dread. They stand up and walk towards you.

"Uh, Hi Frisk. I'm (Name)", you hold out your hand for them to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you." They suddenly hug you, burying their face in the area just below your chest.

"You okay there, squirt?"

"Uh, yeah! I just didn't think I'd find another human under Mt. Ebott! How'd you get here?"

You honestly don't know. You can't remember that far back.

"I fell, duh." They give you a look. You sigh, mumbling an 'I don't know'. They release you, and you walk toward the small bookshelf by the chair. There's a red book, that's accented with gold. 'The History of Monsters' you read. You pick the book, and skim the pages. The book starts at the war between monsters and humans.

"What are you doing, my child?" You jump a bit, you did NOT expect Toriel to be there.

"I was looking at this book. It seems interesting. I'll, uh... I'll put it back if you don't want me reading it."

"Oh, it is quite alright, my child. I was just curious. You may take the book to your room, if you would like." She smiles down at you, and you thank her for being so nice, and healing you. Frisk goes back to sitting on Toriel's lap. You open the door to your room, thankful for the book.

"Mom, when can I leave the ruins?" Curious. Very curious. You stop in your doorway, listening intently. 'There's More than the ruins? Meh. It's safe here.'

"Um, would you like to hear about the book I am reading? It is called '72 uses for snails'."

"Mom, I want to go home. How can I leave?"

"Here is an interesting snail fact! Did you know, snails make terrible shoelaces?"

"Mom. Answer me."

"Snails also sometimes flip their digestive as they mature! How interesting!"

"Mom, stop."

"I am sorry, my child. But there is something I must take care of. Be good, and stay here, will you not?"

You go into your bedroom, still curious. Getting out would be nice, but it's safe here. Going to sit on your bed, you open the book and read a few pages. You slip a bookmark in before heading off to sleep.

-/ Timeskip! Brought to you by MTT-Brand Anime Powder! Make your fantasies come true! \\-

Someone's shaking you. Five more minutes....

"(Name)! We're leaving! Get up!" Cloth in your face. Cold hands. Smells... Ashy.

"Hmm? Frisk? Why are we leaving?" You're pretty confused. Where's Toriel?  
"Don't worry about it now. We need to hurry! Here, put this on!" A black and (color) striped sweater is shoved in your face. You sit up and slide it over your shirt. You groggily get out of bed, and Frisk shoves a stick into your hands, and hands you a ribbon to tie your hair up with. Frisk has a bandage on their cheek. They hold a dusty knife if their hand. You let them lead you to a door in the basement. You sneeze.

"Hey, Frisk. It seems a little dusty in here, don't you think?"

"Yeah, wonder how that happened. Let's go."

They drag you to a door at the end of a long corridor.

It's kinda snowy.


	4. It's Kinda snowy

Frisk is dragging you along a snow covered path with expert ease, almost as if they know exactly where they're going. You, on the other hand, are totally confused. How can it be so warm in the ruins, but so cold in the hallway leading out? And what the hell is this place? There's snow, snow, and more snow. It gets boring after a while, just seeing snow, but after a few minutes you see a branch. It looks kind of heavy, but maybe you can pick it up..

Wrong, totally wrong. And now you have hand splinters. Frisk looks at you like you're an idiot. Maybe you are.

You hear a snap once you're a few feet away. You jump. It's the branch. It snapped. You attempt to speed up the pace, but Frisk keeps it steady.  
"There's nothing to be afraid of, (Name). It was probably harmless.  
Keyword: Probably. You can't help it, being afraid is a natural reaction when in a threatening situation.  
So why wasn't Frisk scared? Why weren't they even slightly worried? You two are in a foreign place, with no clue what may be in story, and here they are, just walking along the path like they own the place! It seems fishy. You reach a bridge, with bars that look like somebody attempted to make some sort of barrier, but the bars are to wide to stop anybody. You stop and admire the handiwork.

"D o n ' t y o u k n o w h o w t o g r e e t a n e w p a l ? " You're frozen in place. There's a presence behind you.  
" T u r n a r o u n d a n d s h a k e m y h a n d " You hesitantly turn around and stick your hand out, only to be met by a bony hand. It feels like actual... bones...  
You just shook hands with a skeleton, and there was a whoopee cushion in his hand. The whoopee cushion runs out of air, and you can barely contain your laughter. That was the funniest thing that has happened down here! You suddenly feel less threatened.  
Frisk, on the other hand, looks impatient. They're standing there, with their arms crossed, glaring daggers at the friendly skeleton. You swear that there's a flash of blue out of the corner of your eye, but you look towards it, and all you see are the skeletons eye sockets.  
"heya, kid, you're supposed to laugh, y'know? it's a joke." Frisk continues glaring at him.  
"well, i'm sans. sans the skeleton."  
Tense atmosphere. Not comfortable. Sans makes a noise that sounds like somebody clearing their throat.  
"Well, I'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans now, but I'm too lazy to capture anybody"  
Frisk scoffs, and looks up the path. What's up with them?  
"But, you see my brother... He's a human hunting FANATIC. Actually, I think I see him up ahead. Follow me. My bro made these bars too wide to stop anyone." He walks between you two, and through the bars. You follow, and Frisk trudges behind you. You get to a larger area, and Sans points dramatically.  
"quick! behind that conveniently shaped lamp!" He pauses, then gestures to some sort of stand. "You're a bit... bigger, maybe the sentry station's a better place for you, pal"  
You give a goofy salute, and hurl yourself behind the sentry station. You hear loud footsteps, and then sans.  
"sup, bro?"  
"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP, BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL. HAVEN'T. RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES!" You look above the station, and Frisk is just standing in front of Sans, their arms crossed. They look bored. You gasp, and while the loud, tall skeleton is facing the other direction, he shoots you a look. You crouch so you can't see them.  
"YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?"  
"staring at my station." Your eyes widen. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to trust him...  
"i left my ketchup back there. could you get it for me?" Oh shit. You're screwed.  
"NO!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT, LAZYBONES!!! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?!? I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!! RESPECT... RECOGNITION... I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO, BE MY, 'FRIEND?' I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!!!"  
"hmm... maybe my station can help you." If you make it out alive, you're going to slap that skeleton silly.  
"SANS!!! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!! YOU LAZYBONES!! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!!!"  
"hey, take it easy. I've gotten a ton of work today. a skele-ton" You hear a rimshot. Did he just pun? You can barely contain your giggles.  
"SANS!!!"  
"c'mon, you're smiling"  
"I AM AND I HATE IT!" You hear a sigh. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME... HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION..."  
"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself... down to the bone" There's another rimshot. You cover your mouth with your hand to muffle your laughter. Any louder and Papyrus would hear you.  
"UGH!!! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES... AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE... 'BACKBONE' INTO IT!!!" You're audibly laughing now. The world can hear your laughing, and you don't care. When you open your eyes, Papyrus and Sans are looking down at you.  
"(SANS IS THAT A HUMAN?)"  
"(no, I think that's a dog)" You're offended for a moment, but then see the dog laying right next to you. How could you not notice that?  
"(OH...)"  
"(but what's next to the dog, bro?)" They both stare at you intently, and you can see the excitement on Papyrus's face. If you weren't scared of being hurt, you might 'Awwwww'. Pap is adorable.  
"(OH MY GOD SANS, IS THAT A HUMAN?)"  
"(yes)" They look back and forth between each other, speeding up to the point that it looks like they're spinning. Frisk is still standing there, like the world has dumped a load in their Pringles can. Not a good experience.  
"OH MY GOD, SANS! I DID IT! UNDYNE WILL... I'LL BE... SO.. POPULAR! AHEM... HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL CAPTURE! I WILL DELIVERY YOU TO THE CAPITAL!!! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET THE RECOGNITION I UTTERLY DESERVE!!!" He poses dramatically, his scarf fluttering in the nonexistent wind. You giggle lightly.  
"I WILL GO PREPARE THE PUZZLES!!" Papyrus speeds off, muttering to himself. Frisk looks relieved that this encounter is over.

You'd say you're off to a great start! So far...


	5. Puzzles, Japes, and Traps

You start to giggle once Papyrus leaves. The skeleton man seems really sweet and funny, and likes puzzles a lot? You continue to walk along the path, when Sans stops you.

What's his deal?

"Hey, thanks for playing along. My bro, well, he's never actually seen a human, and it'd mean a lot to me if you went through and solved some of his puzzles. He seemed pretty excited to see you, and, well, I love seeing my bro happy." You look at him, and slowly nod. No trouble in solving a few puzzles on your way, right?

You played Zelda as a kid...

You think.

"Thanks.. Uh, (Name), Right? I heard the kid say it and uh, assumed it was you I guess..." He scratches the back of his skull awkwardly, and there's a bluish tint to his cheekbones. You nod, and he reaches out to shake your hand again. You accept and smile at him. You continue walking, until you see a box, and turn around to make sure Frisk is still with you. 

They're running to catch up to you, from somewhere off the path.

That's dangerous. What if they get attacked?

"I'm still here, (Name), I just got a little held up" They walk behind you, brushing the dust off their sweater. You're in a clearing, and there's a box in the middle of a fork in the road. Frisk looks forward and tugs on your sleeve.

"That way is the way to go. Going right will just waste our time." They let go of your sleeve and continue walking forward. You decide to check things out. You look in the box, and there's a note inside.

"This is a box! Feel free to put anything in, it'll be here (or in the box you open) when you need it!" 

This seems trustworthy enough, so you take out the package of Band-Aids you took from Toriel's house when you left and set it in the box. You pat it and close the box. You're content.

You also pat the box.

You go down the path to the right, and at the end, there's a snowman. You examine it closely, and it seems to be a normal snowman...

"Hello, Human!" You nearly jump out of your skin when the snowman starts to talk.

"H-hello!" You go back to the front of the snowman, and face him. You smile.

"I am but a snowman... but I am a snowman with a request! Could you take a piece of me far away? It has always been my dream to travel, but alas, I only have enough magic to speak! Could you do that for me?"

Aww, a snowman with a dream. How could you say no?

"O-oh! Of course!" You reach up and take a handful of snow from his head, then pat it. You wave goodbye to the snowman, and go back the way you came. You put the Snowman Piece in the box, and go the way Frisk went. You hear a dulled shriek, and quicken your pace. You duck behind a bush when you see Frisk. There's a knife in their hand.

Are they being attacked?

...or are they the one attacking?

"What are they doing?" You whisper to yourself. Frisk seems to be staring at a bird-like monster, who is making rather... unimpressive ice and snow jokes, but hey, he's trying. They're looking at him through their bangs, and their eyes seem to be glowing..? 

"Hey there, kid, you need to COOL-"

"shut up you stupid bird." Frisk charges forward, with an accuracy that tells you that they've done this before. Before you can make a noise, a bony hand covers your mouth, and all of a sudden, you're no longer there. The hand uncovers your mouth, and you can't stop the uncontrolled nervous sobbing and apologies that come from your mouth once you see Sans. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but you couldn't tell that the ten year old you had been following had been killing anybody. Sans might think you allowed it to happen!

Or worse, that you instructed them to do it!

But mostly, you're scared. You sob because you're scared, now that you know what Frisk has been doing, and judging by how graceful their movements were, they've been doing it since you got here. Sans awkwardly pats your head, and gives you a mug of tea.

"Guess you didn't see this comin', huh kiddo?"

You shake your head. You're astounded by the actions the small child has been taking, and in your pacifist heart, you can't fathom how much hate they must hold in theirs. Sans is looking at you with a silent intensity you can't comprehend, and you tremble under his gaze. Seeing a living, walking skeleton itself is intimidating, but the look Sans was giving you could haunt your nightmares. His face softens up, and he puts his hand on your shoulder.

"I can tell that the kid rattled your bones" 

You chuckle at his pun, and finally take a sip of the tea he had brought you. You hum happily, the tea is divine.

"Could see the dust on the kid when you two left the ruins, but you practically radiate innocence. I didn't peg you as the type of gal to chill with killers"

The pun falls flat, and your eyes start to hurt. Sans sighs, gets up, and goes upstairs at a very slow pace, one akin to one's great grandfather hobbling to his bedroom with a cane.

"(Name), right?"

"Yeah!" You call from the couch.

"You're gonna stay here, ok?"

"K" He appears with a fluffy blanket and a pillow in tow. He tosses them beside you and winks. Then, he's gone without a trace.

Drained, you lay down for a while.

Fun day, huh?


	6. What even

Frisk killed tons of monsters.

    Frisk probably killed Toriel. 

    Frisk is currently out killing more monsters...

    Frisk will probably kill Papyrus. 

    You shoot up in your seat, and push the heavy blanket off of yourself. You have a ton weighing on your conscience, and if stopping this monster disguised as a child is going to ease up on it, then stopping them is what you're going to have to do. There are footsteps down the stairs, and a soft 'nyeh' can be heard. You twirl around, and come face to skull with Papyrus. You breathe a sigh of relief, and your shoulders relax. Papyrus glances at you sadly, and wraps a bony arm around you.

"It... It is ok, you know..." You look at Papyrus, confused as to what he means, or even what he may be reffering to. "Your... Traveling companion... It's okay that you did not know they were... Dusting monsters."

"They need to be stopped, and I just feel like, I don't know. I feel like I can stop them somehow?" You say, looking up at Papyrus, eyes swirling with emotion. He shakes his skull vigorously. 

"I would normally be very behind taking action, but in this situation, I think it is best to wait it out, human." The tall skeleton says, looking away. Your eyes harden, and the determination running through your veins pushes you on.

"No, I think I can get through to them, talk them out of this."

"bud, that's probably not a good idea. they've probably made it to waterfall by now, where undyne'll try to stop 'em"

"I have to try, guys! Maybe another human trying to reason with them will help this whole situation!" You exclaim, standing suddenly and widening your stance to appear bigger and more confident. Maybe if you looked like you were sure in your actions, they would have less of an issue with you going to confront the child by yourself. 

'You have to look fearless, (Name)' 

'Don't let them know how you really feel'

'They'll just take advantage of your fear'

Your legs start to shake, your eyes faltering for a moment. Your fingers twitch, longing for something to occupy them. To occupy your dreaded thoughts and mental processes which put you in this situation. Sans's gaze flickers to your quickly moving fingers, before looking back at Papyrus, who is pleasantly unaware of what's going on right before him.

"I know I can do it! I- I can deal with them, I have siblings at home and-"

'You don't have a home'

'Your family is why you got into this mess'

'Are you sure that it wasn't a ruse? Do you even exist?'

Your arm twitches, and the muscles in your abdomen tighten. You struggle to keep a brave look on your face, and shut out the voices flurrying through your head. Sans asks Papyrus to leave you two to talk for a moment, but you can barely register the baritone of his voice over the incessant screaming running rampant in your head. Your whole body is tight. The door closes and you fall to the ground, feeling pain.

Are those your knees?

It can't be...

You don't exist

How can something feel pain if they don't exist?

There's a skeleton in your line of vision. You must be dreaming.

He waves his hands, reaching out toward you. There's (Skin tone) hands in your sight. Are those yours?

They can't be. You don't exist. You don't have a body, how does someone who doesn't exist have hands?

There's a sensation. You see Sans touching the hand in your sight.

"What is this?"

"A h-h-hand" He frowns, touching it again. There's the same poking sensation.

"What is it?" He asks again, more insistent.

"M-my hand"

"Good." His hand moves down, you follow with your eyes to what seems to be a leg.

'Fat, ugly legs'

He touches it. You feel him touch it.

"My leg" you murmur, slowly coming to your senses. He continues this process, touching a random limb and stopping the dissociation. A large amount of time passes during this process, and it begins to snow outside. Your breathing evens out, and your muscles stop twitching.

"What happened, kid?" he finally asks, when you are out of your previous, anxiety induced state.

"I... I'm scared. But I know that Frisk needs to be stopped, and that you guys shouldn't have to do it."

"You don't have to. We have sentries and the Royal Guard for a reason, (Name). You don't have to protect us" he chuckles, "We can protect ourselves." You let out a shaky breath. There is a long silence, which is oddly comfortable for two people who had just met. But you're curious. About this new world you've found yourself in, and these monsters you've acquainted yourself with.

"So... What kind of magic do you have?" He looks at you, lights in his socket wider than usual.

"Bone attacks, blue bone attacks, space-time manipulation, mad dodging skills, Ga-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Repeat that?"

"Bone attacks?"

"No, after that."

"Blue bone attacks?"

"No, no. Something about space-time?"

"Oh! I can teleport. And I have little leeway when it comes to time. A few seconds at most, but still pretty impressive."

"Wow"

"You know what's more impressive?" his eyebrow ridges wiggle. You roll your eyes.

"What?" You retort, sarcastically. Your sass levels skyrocket to a new high. Sans would be impressed if he could tell.

"The bone in my pants" He winks

"Oh goddamnit you sick skeleton get the fuck out"

"It's my house!"


	7. No Longer Undying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings!
> 
> Self harm and depressive thoughts
> 
> Also more death

While you and Sans are chilling on the couch, you spend a lot of time just getting to know each other. He likes ketchup, science, and really cares about his brother. You tell him about your varying interests from the surface, and spend a hearty amount of time explaining what those things are. There's a loud papping noise outside, then the front door swings open.

"Brother, Human! I cannot find Undyne anywhere!! Has she been around here?" Papyrus inquires, worry etched into his browbones. You and the smaller skeleton make awkward eye contact, hoping that the worst hasn't happened.

"Have you seen Frisk? Maybe that could help you out in finding what happened to her?" you say, running your hands through your hair, now obviously stressed about what may or may not be happening in this small underground world you've found yourself in. Papyrus's face falls, and he points to the television.

There's a robot on the screen, who has a grim look on their face. They look like they're on a news channel, and are dressed n a fancy suit.

"My dear viewers, or, what is left of them, I am sure you've heard of what has been happening here in our humble underground. I am sad to inform you that the human has recently engaged in combat with our daring heroine, Undyne. And I say to you all, with tears in my robotic eye, that they have pulled out, victorious. We have scattered our brave friends dust over her home. May she rest in peace."

Papyrus starts crying. His face contorts into an expression that looks tough for his bones to make. Orange liquid trails down his skull, wetting his gloves and shorts. Sans scoots over to attempt to console him, when you catch a glimpse of the screen.

**ALL MONSTERS TO EVACUATE**

"Guys," you say, grabbing the attention of the brothers. You point at the screen, where a yellow lizard-like monster is talking. She seems nervous, and pained.

"Y-yes. I believe the best course of action is for everyone to follow emergency evacuation p-procedures." She wrings her hands, nervously. "There may be some unsightly w-work in there, but" her face hardens, "I know that this is what b-best for monsterkind, and I will help in any way possible to protect our people"

"Thank you, Dr. Alphys" says the reporter. The feed cuts back to the robot, who you now know is Mettaton. He files the papers on the desk, and looks at the camera.

"You all know the emergency evacuation procedures. Please, hurry there. The doors will be closed in two hours time, enough for everyone to get to the predetermined destination on time."

Mettaton's screen fades for a second, then comes back brighter the before.

"Meanwhile, I am going to go face the threat myself. I am the last thing standing between us and our benevolent king. Stay tuned for more action, bloodshed, and drama. Thank you all for tuning into what may be our last news broadcast. Goodnight."

"Paps, we need to go talk to Alph, make sure she lets our friend here in" Sans says. Papyrus, with tears in his eye sockets, nods in agreement.

"I.. I simply cannot have another friend die on me, so yes. Human, we must go now. We should not be long, so please, do be safe"

"Yes, Papyrus. I'll be fine. Go take care of things. I'll see you guys in a bit"

"Yeah, take care, kid." Sans mutters. The skeletons then warp out of the room, leaving you alone in the dim, desolate house. You turn your attention to the screen, where Mettaton is shown wheeling down a pathway, towards what you're assuming to be Frisk.

"This is it folks," MTT says when he stops in front of a doorway. He rolls in, and the feed focuses on Frisk. Their hair is partially covering their bloodshot eyes. Dust has settled on their clothes, in their hair, and on their gun.

"Wish me luck"

With a flash of light, Mettaton transforms from a box to a war machine that looks like a human. Frisk grins wickedly, and charges Mettaton with a glint in their eye. You edge toward he screen, hoping that Mettaton can put up a good fight.

Frisks gun shoots him in his processors, bringing the show robot to a quick end. His body starts to fall apart.

"So... I guess you... Don't want to join my fan club..?"

He explodes, leaving the screen to cut out into static. You sit there, staring at the nothingness for a while, hoping for the feed to came back on the air, hoping that somehow, a crucial part of that darned robot had come to survive. You sat there for a good fifteen minutes. Waiting and hoping and wishing.

It never came.

You are alone in this house, with nothing but your thoughts to entertain you. Nothing but yourself to talk to. Nothing but the voices in your head to battle with.

_'This is all your fault. You let them go. You let them kill. You did nothing to stop them from slaughtering an entire race. You've assisted a lunatic in genocide. You monster"_

She was right. She was always right. You're a horrible person. W do you exist?

You feel dirty. You feel your sins crawling on your back, your arms, under your skin. You need to get clean. You go to the bathroom and lock the door. You strip and stare at yourself in the mirror.

 _'Not good enough. Never will be. Crawl back in your hole, worthless. You'll never belong here or anywhere_ '

You turn the shower on haphazardly. Upon stepping in, the water is freezing to the touch. It's numbingly cold. Perfect for desensitizing. You scrub at your skin until its beating and raw. It's still not good enough.

You step out of the shower and rummage through the cabinets. You grab the scissors and study the blade. These should work. You stare yourself down in the mirror. Wholly inadequate. The scars on your thighs and torso remind you of your intentions. You grin slightly. You open the scissors and roughly run them against the skin of your stomach. Blood beads out of the small incision, and you giggle. This isn't quite enough, though. This is nowhere near enough.

You cut the soft flesh of your stomach, sides, thighs, calves, and wrists, until you are a bleeding, red mess. You draw up a warm bath, and settle in the pinkening water. Your mind is foggy as you fall, further and further into the dangerous void that is your mind. Your thoughts dance and swirl around each other, easing the vague tingle in your limbs. Your eyes flutter shut.

  1. You pass out, brain drifting into a dreamless sleep.



 


	8. It's a miracle, It's a Nightmare

\--------------------[Sans P.O.V]----------------------  
We get to the lab, and find Alph at the door, ushering hoards of monsters into the elevator to the lower level of the laboratory. I wave at her and she scuttles over to me.   
"Papyrus, I need you to help people into the elevator so they can get down to the basement, it's the s-safest place in the building and the human can't get in without the passcode, which only I know, but I can give you the password on a piece of paper so that you can get people down there but I'm going to take a group down there first because I need to tidy up and make sure the place is hospitable and explain some things to the people who are gonna be living down there so that they don't freak out an-"  
"Sh, Alph, I think Paps has got it", I say. She relaxes a bit, and scribbles something on a piece of paper before passing it to Papyrus. He looks at it, and put it in the waistband of his pants. He then jogs over to the elevator, standing by the doors once he gets there.  
"Alph, I have a question to ask you before we all go down into the Lab."  
"Yeah, Sans?"  
"So Papyrus and I have this friend, and she kinda needs a place to stay. We'd like for her to stay with the monsters in the true lab, but I feel like that may not necessarily be the best idea. She won't be able to survive the human attacking her, and we just want her to be safe"  
"Sounds like you l-like her~"  
"Kinda. But that's not important right now. I have to tell you what the complication is"  
"Yeah? I don't think it could be too bad. I mean, we're showing people the DT experiments for Asgore's sake. What could be much worse?"  
"Our friend.. She's a human. No EXP, no LV, 27 HP. She's harmless. Papyrus and I can see that, but everybody else might not be able to. We need her safe though. I think that she can get through to the kid. She might be able to help us"  
"I.. I don't know, Sans. It'll be risky..."  
"Please, Alph."  
"I'll see what I can do, Sans. You better be right about her" She finishes, shaking her scaly head. The scientist scurries over to the elevator, her claws scraping against the tile floor. She presses some numbers into the keypad, and leads a group of monsters into the elevator. She waves at me, smiling nervously. I nod at Pap and he smiles. I warp my way to the house.  
__________________________________________  
The house is eerily quiet when I get there. A faucet is dripping, but there is otherwise no movement in the house. I slowly make my way up the stairs, and they creak with each step I take. The atmosphere is thick, as if something is wrong. Then I feel it.  
Her soul is dimmer than normal. Not just for a normal human, but than is even in the range of normal for her. Concerned, I look in every room I pass as I go down the hall. My room is empty, Papyrus's room is clear, and the closets don't have anybody in them. The last door is the restroom, but why she would be in there, and not be making any noise confuses me. Maybe she's sick?  
I open the door and chills run down my spine at the sight before me. She sits in the shower, naked and in deep red water. Blood coats the exposed areas of her skin and the bathtub, some caked and dry, and some new. I rush forward and drain the tub. (Name) is still bleeding profusely, from her calves to right below her chest. I turn the shower on to rinse her off, as well as the tub. As the water drains, I see who did this to her.  
She did.  
(Name) Has bloody scissors clutched in her right hand. She used them to carve into her own flesh, the skin red and marred by the barely sharp enough instrument.  
But why?  
I cover her in bandages as quick as I can, hoping that Alphys will know what to do about it. My limbs are shaking, and I can feel my magic getting frantic. I don't know what to do, and it scares the shit out of me.  
Her skin is cooler than it was just an hour or two earlier. (Name) hangs limp in my arms, and she starts to bleed through the bandages on her wrists. I grab my phone and dial the first number that I can think of.  
"S-sans? Is there an issue?" Alphys asks. The sound of a crown drones on behind her, making her small voice hard to hear.  
"Yeah, it's (Name). She.. She's not doing well and I don't know what to do. Do you think you could help out because I honestly have no clue as to what I should do."  
"I mean, you could bring her here, I might be able to do something for her. How bad is she?"  
"Pretty bad, I don't think I shoulda left her alone."  
"Ok... Yeah, just bring her here, and I think I could take care of her. How soon are you guys gonna be here?"  
I Warp to the lab, only to be met with Alphys pacing in front of the lab with a few groups still waiting to go down. She looks over at me, and her eyes widen in realization.   
"Oh my goodness I'm so s-sorry, I'll be as quick as I can and get her back to health, I swear."  
"Thanks, Alph. I appreciate it"  
I hand (Name) off to Alphys, and watch the small scientist waddle off with her in her arms. The monsters took a look at the bundle of limbs in her arms, and looked shocked. Papyrus glanced at her, and her face fell. He said something to Alphys, and she nodded. She then told him something and his face hardened. They went into the elevator and down into the lab.  
_____________[ALPHYS]______________  
I take the human down into the lab, and find an old, empty room to put her in. I lay her on a table, and take a look at the damage. The bandages she's wearing are slowly being stained red in every spot they're covering. I unwrap one of her legs and see the methodical, even marks on her legs.  
My eyes widen in realization.  
She did this to herself.  
I tear up, but continue to unwrap the bandages. There are cuts on her wrists, all up her legs, on her torso and hips. They stop at her extremities, and at her chest. I bring out her soul, and notice something  
Its pink. Not red, but pink. The color of compassion. Innocence mixed with Determination. Its a very dim pink, but the vibrance of the pure color shines through the deathly haze. She'll make it.   
I use what little healing magic I know to hasten the recovery process, and I see the skin start to seal itself. I hover over her arms, and the places where her veins are visible. The bleeding slows and I sigh in relief. I take a mix of herbs that will disinfect her wounds and rub them on the exposed injuries, and then bandage her back up.  
Her eyes flutter open.  
________[READER]______  
I wake up in an unfamiliar place. My limbs feel heavy. Am I dead?  
I hope so.  
I wipe my face with my arm, and my arms are covered in cloth. Not dead I guess. Sure as hell tried, though. My arms feel heavy, and I'm dizzy. What the hell happened?  
I sit up and hear somebody squeak. I look in the direction of the noise, and see a yellow lizard-like monster. They're in a lab coat, and are very short. I wave a little and they hesitantly wave back.  
"I-I'm Alphys, the royal scientist. I just patched you up after Sans brought you here due to your.. Incident..."  
"Incident? Whaddya mean? Last I remember I was at Sans's house, watching TV and waiting for him to come get me... Did something happen?"  
"You mean... You d-don't remember? That seems like a lot of heavy stuff to forget. Are you sure you don't remember anything?"  
"I..." I look around and examine the sterile walls of what I assume to be a lab. It smells like chemicals and oddly of essential oils. It's cold.  
"Sometimes I get in a funk, and I... I hurt myself and do things that I might regret later, but help me feel better in the moment. It gets so bad that occasionally I block it out of my memory, so that I don't end up reliving it, I guess."  
She looks at me and sighs. Alphys wipes her hands on her lab coat and points to a pile of bloody bandages.  
That's how bad you had gotten?  
What happened to make you do that sort of thing? I look at her and feel tears well in the corners of my eyes. My throat starts to ache and I swallow, with much resistance.  
Alphys hugs me when I start sobbing.


	9. Consequences

Alphys rubs her scaled hands on your back, to comfort you through this emotional episode. You regret cutting yourself in different ways. Partially because these people seemed to care about you unconditionally. Partially because you were upset you didn't cut deep enough to end it all.

The door opens and Sans walks into the small, sterile room.

"Hey there... how's it all holding up?" He asks.

"It's holding up alr-"

A small, yellow monster runs in. They have no arms and seem to stumble over their own feet and tail. They jump around Sans excitedly.

"Sans!!! Hi!!! I never thought I'd see you or Papyrus here! What're you do..ing..." they stop in their tracks when they spot you.

"Tha.. that's a human... Why is there a hum-"

"MK!" Shouts an orange monster, similar in appearance to the smaller one currently in your presence. She picks them up by the neck of their sweater, much like a mother cat would do to her kittens. By the time she gets there, there is a small crowd of monsters just inside the doorway.

They barely get a glance at you before they are all rushed out of the room, somewhat forcefully, by both Sans and Alphys. She goes out to explain the situation to the monsters she is harboring in her lab.

However, MK and their Mother hadn't gotten pushed out of the room. The larger monster eyes you warily, whereas the child walks right towards you. She follows them and hovers protectively.

You can see the small child eyeing your arms, legs, and abdomen. The curiosity is almost tangible, and you brave yourself for the inevitable.

"Yo.. what happened to you? Did you get into a fight? I know a girl that gets into a lot of fights, and she gets banged up all the time! Maybe she could help you patch up since she knows so much about how they work!" They ramble on about some fish girl named Undyne and how she's so tough and strong and beautiful despite her scars, and every word that they speak, every phrase they produce makes your heart sink further and further, until you can't feel it anymore. Your eyes start to burn again and your throat feels like it's being clawed at from the inside. Tears well up in your eyes and spill down onto your cheeks and lips, the salt burning your cracked skin.

You turn away from the small monster, who becomes confused at your behavior. Their mother comes over and ushers them away, to another door that leads to another section of the lab.

Sans comes over to you, eyeing you warily and worriedly. He runs a skeletal hand over your shoulder, and sits down next to you. He shushes you and pets your hair awkwardly as you slowly begin to sob and break down. Every move you make causes your wounds to rub together and your hisses of pain don't go unnoticed. You clench your hands in your hair and squeeze so hard you can feel your hair being tugged, and your nails biting into your palms. Sans hesitantly grabs your hands, and one by one loosens your fingers from your scalp, until they both rest on his skeletal wrists.  He wipes your tears away with the sleeves of his worn down hoodie, and pulls you closer to him. You can feel him shift suddenly when he hears a loud rumble and a multitude of voices outside of the door.

The door clicks yet again, and you meet the gaze of the taller of the two skeletons. There are various monsters behind him, looking in at the display, all shocked by the presence of yet another human, however this time, in their safe spot. There are hushed murmurs if disapproval, curiosity, and fear. You tense up at the sight of them, and you can feel your adrenaline kicking in. You hear a choked noise from next to you.

Papyrus looks torn and forlorn, and there are orange tinted wet spots running down his cheekbones. His shoulders are slumped, and he's broken down to the point that you can't even imagine what could be wrong.

"Paps... bro, c'mere" Sans says, opening his arms to his brother. Papyrus walks over to him, and drops to his knees.

"I-I can't believe he's gone, Sans... He's just..."

"Shhh... I know, bro." He soothes, rubbing Papyrus on his back. His gentle sobs are the only thing that fill the otherwise silent room, and it thickens the already worried atmosphere.

"At-At least you are alright, human." Papyrus mutters, the corners of his malleable mouth turning upward slightly. His face looks pained, more so than most of the monsters you've seen yet. His usually joyful expression replaced with tear streaked cheekbones and heartbreak.

When you look at him, your heart crumbles once again. Throat constricting and vision swimming, tears well in your already sore eyes, and a few droplets fall down your cheeks. A sob wracks your body, until you are bawling your eyes out in front of all the monsters who have been weary of you. They drop their guards at the sight and their cold faces morph into something kinder, warmer, and still melancholic.

They all come toward you, arms extended. They wrap themselves around you, and each other. You all become a pile of shaking limbs, watery eyes, and emotional distress.

But at least you're safe where you are.


End file.
